Obedience

I'm thoroughly enjoying the two-week daily Bible reading plan that I started using You Version on my phone.  Should you wish to view this plan, or others offered by You Version, check out: http://www.youversion.com/reading-plans/obedience

I don't think obedience is something I consider much these days when I'm making decisions.  This week I really tried to think about what actions of mine were going to be obedient or disobedient to what God wants me to do with the time and resources and personaility that He's given me.  It was kinda like asking myself "What Would Jesus Do" and taking a moment to think before making decisions.  It was a revealing week and certainly one of growth.

If you're also realizing that you lack the concept of obedience to God on a daily basis, I encourage you to read the verses in the reading plan mentioned above.  It's hard to deny the importance of obedience when you remember that scripture is full of instructions like this:

1 John 2:3-6:
And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments. If someone claims, “I know God,” but doesn’t obey God’s commandments, that person is a liar and is not living in the truth. But those who obey God’s word truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.

Five Question Friday (FQF): Saving

1. When dining out, do you usually save room for dessert?

No, but an exception would be if I'm with a group and we decide to split a dessert.  Typically, I only allow myself to buy a meal and maybe a drink when I go out...and since when did some restaurant portions get so LARGE? How can I have room for dessert if I eat my meal?!

2. How do you feel about saving places in line or saving seats in theaters?

Unless someone is already there but had to leave to go pee, I hate saving places in line. First, it makes me feel like I have invisible friends and everyone thinks I'm crazy (think about it, I'm motioning my hands around an empty area and telling people "Sorry, but my friends are actually here."). Second, it's annoying to me when other people save places so why should I do it?

3. What’s one thing you did to save money this past year?

I sewed all my own clothes and started a garden.  Okay, maybe not.  But I did work a part-time job for four months to cover events, trips, and purchases that I knew were coming up.

4. Besides money, what’s something you’re saving for later?

There's a smoked turkey in my freezer that I'm waiting to eat. Seriously, a whole turkey. It's actually taking up a lot of room in there...so "later" might need to be soon.

5. In what way did you recently save the best for last?

At Christmas, I made a video for my family that I presented the day AFTER Christmas. I think it was the best, and it was certainly last.

Happy Friday everyone!

Job 42:1-6, The Message

Job answered God: "I'm convinced: You can do anything and everything.
   Nothing and no one can upset your plans.
You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water,
   ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?'
I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me,
   made small talk about wonders way over my head.
You told me, 'Listen, and let me do the talking.
   Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.'
I admit I once lived by rumors of you;
   now I have it all firsthand—from my own eyes and ears!
I'm sorry—forgive me. I'll never do that again, I promise!
   I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor." 


 I want to thank my friend Diana for showing me this passage last night. Something about the phrase "I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumor" hit me so hard that I felt as though my New Year didn't actually start until I heard those words. It's as if that verse was the closing sentence of one chapter and the beginning of another -- like the scene in Gone With the Wind before the intermission when Scarlett O'Hara chooses to fight..."As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

So look out folks, cause I'm choosing to fight. I don't want to babble about God anymore or simply make small talk. I don't want to confuse anyone or second-guess what God is doing. I'm going to practice obedience and pursue God so that the words I speak about Him come from my heart and not rehearsed answers or speculation. 

That's what I'm going to do with 2011, and it's the only plan I need.  It'll be an adventure!

ants

There was a trail of ants in my house this week. They were headed from the kitchen door to my bottle of maple syrup. Don't worry, I quickly took care of the problem and the ants were gone just as quickly as they had appeared. But I thought about it today and realized how curious it is that these determined little ants didn't stop and cry for a day or two at the wall of white poison that I had placed in their path. The powder was obviously piled in their way and they couldn't get to where they wanted to go, and yet those little ants just disappeared. I suppose they've moved on to bigger and better things besides my little bottle of syrup.

Why can't I change my course so easily? When a proverbial door in my life is closed, I like to sit and moan about it for a little bit...or a lot. I like complain about the someone who would do such a thing to thwart my plans and throw me off course. Sometimes I use it as an excuse to stop moving and take a break.  Sometimes I use it as an excuse to stop pursuing God the way I should. Hmmm...perhaps I should be more like the ants and not become idle but rather keep moving, trusting that the poison was a sign that something better is waiting for me next.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
   don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
   he's the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (The Message)

I Blame Belle

I was on a quick trip to Boise this week (I was only gone 30 hours!) and loved being out of Texas for even that short amount of time.  And when I got home last night, it wasn't with relief or comfort: I was sad.  I can only describe it as being homesick.  Homesick for what, I don't know.  What do you do when your "home" doesn't feel like home anymore?  I'm certainly not the only one to ever feel this way and yet I'm amazed at how quickly this has become a feeling that I'm living with.  It's as though there was suddenly an invisible shift and now I don't feel like Dallas is where I should be at all.  I'm homesick, but where is home?

I'd really like to blame someone for this.  After all, I didn't ask for this frustration and find it terribly inconvenient (not to mention that I worry about upsetting my family and friends here when all I talk about is leaving).  So, after much thought, I've decided that I blame Belle.  You know Belle, she's also known as "Beauty" from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.  It's her fault, I'm certain of it.

Belle dreamt of being understood and craved adventure away from what had become a "provincial life."  As a child, I loved Belle's story because of her spunk and the wonderful events that occurred in her life after she stumbled upon the run-down palace and met the tormented Beast.  But as an adult (yes, I still watch the movie!), I see Belle as someone who wanted something more than what her community expected.  And I've never related to her as much as I do now.

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand to have someone understand I want so much more than they've got planned."

I realized that Belle was at fault for my feelings of displacement in Dallas after my good friend, Kalie Lowrie (please visit her lovely "kindred spirit" blog here), took me to see the Broadway show of Beauty and the Beast when it was in Dallas this July.  In the show, Belle is trapped in the cursed castle and sang a beautiful song that didn't just strike a chord with me, it practically broke the chord as my heart echoed each word:

Is this home? Is this where I should learn to be happy?
Never dreamed that a home could be dark and cold
I was told ev'ry day in my childhood:
Even when you grow old, home should be where the heart is
Never where words so true!
My heart's far, far away...home is too

Is this home, Is this what I must learn to believe in?
Try to find something good in this tragic place
Just in case I should stay here forever
Held in this empty place
Oh, that won't be easy, I know the reason why
My heart's far, far away...home's alike

What I'd give to return
To the life that I knew lately
But I know now I can't
All my problems going by

Is this home? Am I here for a day or forever?
Shut away from the world until who knows when
Oh, but then as my life has been altered once, it can change again
Build higher walls around me, change ev'ry lock and key
Nothing lasts, nothing holds...all of me

My heart's far, far away...Home and free


While I continue sorting out where "home" is for me on this earth, in this life, I don't want to forget that the only real reason I feel displaced is because my true home is with God in heaven.  I wasn't meant for this world and won't ever really find myself in this world.  So, until that blessed day comes, when I no longer will comprehend what it means to be discontent or misunderstood, I'm not going to hold on to anything.  My hands are open wide and lifted up with all I have in this world on them: God is in total control of my destiny.  I pray that my hands never close to fists and that my heart will only find contentment in seek God's path for me...until I'm finally home.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going.” - John 14:1-4