Psalm 139:1-6, The Message

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!

When I shared the link from my blog last night with friends and coworkers via facebook and e-mail, my hand was shaking before I clicked send. Anyone who knows me is aware that I'm a very open person, I don't have a whole lot of secrets. Yet the things I write and think "out loud" about on this web site tend to feel more personal than most normal conversations go and daily interactions allow. Because I felt vulnerable by releasing these so-called narratives for anyone to see, I almost began to doubt myself and let it get to me in a self conscience way. But then I remembered that on my quest for authenticity and learning to live out who I was created to be -- it doesn't matter what anyone else may think. I can take comfort in those moments of timidity and fear because I know the truths written in this Psalm. God is my reassuring and ever-present protector, and He knows everything about me. So as deep as I might feel like I am on this blog, or as intimate I feel it is to share my thoughts this openly, it's not even scratching the surface of God's knowledge of my heart and mind. It's a comfort to me and I hope you know this comfort as well.