Getting to Point B

The three year mark of when I moved back to Dallas after a year of volunteering in Northern Ireland was last Sunday, August 15.  With that anniversary came a lot of reflection, a little regret, and other tumultuous emotions that I can’t even find a name for—and they literally took my breath away.  Since God wired my mind for creativity, not sentiment, I wasn’t sure what to do with the vulnerability of those thoughts.  I wanted to push them away because I often prefer the “artificial bliss” that comes from ignoring the need for an introspective look at oneself.  Unfortunately, that option doesn’t exist for me since I’ve chosen a life theme of authenticity. 

I take comfort in the fact that reading and writing help me sort out my thoughts, especially when they seem too much to handle.  As such, I read several books last week (namely A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Don Miller), and came to realize that some of my frustration stems from the fact that, in my life, I’m a character eager to create a blockbuster story, but no clue as to how I can get from where I am (Point A) to where I want to be (Point B).

I didn’t use to feel this way.  I used to know with certainty that I was doing what I loved in a place that felt like home, and it was all leading to where I ultimately wanted to go.  I experienced the magic of being challenged, fulfilled, and content at the same time.  But that’s all changed and in last three years, I have found myself in a place called “the in-between.”  And it’s time for me to transition out of it!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m blessed with a good church, a good job (even if it is in a cubicle), and countless “memorable scenes” that I will never regret (skydiving, doing a 5K race, backpacking across mountains, doing mission work in India, spending New Years Eve in London, riding a scooter around Spain, taking road trips, entering homemade jam into the State Fair, etc).  But I know there’s more to my future than this. 

So, without wasting any more time on things that aren’t taking me closer to Point B, it’s time—right now—for me to take action on reaching my dreams.  I might not know the exact conclusion to my story, but of these things I am certain:

             I want to move away from Dallas soon

             …and to a place where I can spend more time outdoors

            I want to create beauty through words and art

             …while inspiring others to do the same

             I want to pursue more opportunities to speak in public

             …and start a fulltime spiritual coaching ministry

I realize that I can’t just snap my finger and have what I want tomorrow [insert sad face here].  So the first obstacle in obtaining my dreams will be getting in a good financial position to move on and start something new when the opportunity presents itself.  With that in mind, just this week I started a part-time job at a bookstore.  It might not sound like much, but those 20 hours a week, combined with the 40 hours a week at my fulltime job, gives me extra money to tuck away (and less free time to spend it).  It’s terrifying, and a complete sacrifice of my social life, but I’m already feeling more fulfilled in my pursuit of a better story.

The next step in my journey is an upcoming trip to Portland for Don Miller’s “Living a Better Story” conference on September 26 and 27 (www.donmilleris.com/conference).  I’m excited to hear more about discovering what you want, planning your life out like a story, and overcoming the inevitable struggles along the way.  I hope that I won’t feel intimidated by some of the “big dreamers” who are there, but that I would take the opportunity to learn from their stories and find the motivation I need to keep pursuing my own.

Beyond these first steps, this process is going to consist of a “one day at a time” mentality while I save money, begin to research how to start a ministry, and make plans to move to another city.  God willing, my story will bring Him pleasure!

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.