Nickels and Dimes

This is really embarrassing for me to admit, but I have the bad habit of watching my checking account go down to a very, very low balance at the end of every pay period. (I'd like people to think that I'm smart with my money, but the truth is, I'm not.)  Well, this week I had several humbling realizations--which is never fun for someone as prideful as me.  And, of course, I feel compelled to share them on here to really drive home what I'm learning about the process toward humbleness...or whatever.  I hope you won't judge me by what I'm going to share.

Maybe it's because I'm a thrill-seeker that I relish the task of making sure that "x" amount of dollars lasts until payday, but that excitement back-fired this week when I forgot to factor in several trips I needed to take outside of Dallas.  The tank of gas in my car seemed to empty faster than normal and soon I found myself two days away from payday with the gas light on in my car and only a couple bucks in my bank account. I won't go into great detail, but let's just say I felt about *this big* (imagine two of my fingers barely touching) when I walked in to the gas station to pay for a couple gallons of gas with only two $1 bills and $3.25 of nickels and dimes that I had scrounged up at home. However, I am happy to admit that those couple gallons of gas lasted until this morning (payday) when my gas light came on yet again.  I'm so thankful that God provided all that change so I could get around--and so I could see what else in my life needed to change.

You see, it would be have really easy for me to just go put a tank of gas on my credit card and not suffer the embarrassment of paying with coins.  But I can't let myself use a credit card to ignore the reality of my bad habits.  As I wrestled with the temptation to use plastic and "save face," I realized how often I've done that in the last two years.  I have a lot of friends who are in different positions than I am when it comes to finances.  I don't want to make excuses for myself, sound judgmental, or play the part of a martyr, but I reached a point this week where I realized that I can't keep up.  I can't go out to eat with them as much, I can't go to all the events, shop for the same things...my reality is different than theirs and I need to make tough sacrifices in order to be financially responsible.  I even applied for a part-time job so that I have more cash and less time to spend it.

Although I don't regret anything I've spent money on this year (I have too many good memories to be remorseful), it's okay if I try and be a little more frugal, or "thrifty" as I would prefer to say.  The Lord is  teaching me that living authentically even applies to my bank accounts and I pray that my "nickel and dime" motivation of the week lasts.  I've already chopped up my credit card and planned out my cash allowance for the next two weeks.  I am inspired to make the humbling sacrifices necessary to boost my bank accounts.  To God be the glory.