Recent self discovery: I love stories where something (or someone) is dirty, broken, or unused and the hero of the story swoops in to clean, fix, and improve said thing.
Although these these movies and stories are not recent additions to my list of "things I love", I have only just realized that they all have the "fix-it" theme in common:
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
Sandlot
Pollyanna
Calamity Jane
Miss Congeniality
Swiss Family Robinson
Secret Garden
Little Princess
The Boxcar Children
Lemony Snicket: Series of Unfortunate Events
Esther (from the Bible)
Pippi Longstocking
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Are you imagining the scenes in your head now? Those moments of makeovers or projects that result in a complete improvement by the end. Good.
What I'm thinking is this: maybe the theme of transformation is going to be a big part of my role as a character in God's story. Maybe these are some of my favorite movies, books, and stories because I see in them what I want to see in my life's tale--transformation, restoration, rejuvenation. Not only do I constantly want and pray for a total spiritual makeover in my life, I also want to be used by God to assist in the same process for someone or something else. Not that God needs my help to complete the task, but that I can't think of anything better for me to do with my time here on earth. I'll be humbled and grateful if I ever get the opportunity to be a tool in the transformation of something He is crafting for His kingdom--whether it be a ministry, a relationship, or something else I can't even dream up. But if that day never comes, I'll be happy to just be continually molded, made-over, and a "project" of my Dad in heaven.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
How do I love thee?
Love is difficult.
I don't love love. If it were easy (is it for anyone? tell me your secret!), I am positive I would love it. But it's not, and so I don't.
I was thinking of the poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning titled "How Do I Love Thee?" and chewing over the words. Join me (and don't forget to read it aloud, just above a whisper, and with dramatic pauses...British accent is optional):
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
If only these words were true for flawed and destined-for-failure mortals like myself. I'm comforted by knowing and experiencing God's vast love for me; however, the complexities of love arise for this human when I try to extend that same love towards other people like me: very needy, often annoying, and discontent people.
In fact, if I were to rewrite this sonnet in my honest-to-goodness words of what SOME people think (not necessarily me in particular), it would go something like this:
You think I love thee? I can pretend for days.
I'll try to "love" thee until you're at least out of sight
Because my soul can't reach your expectation's height
For Pete's sake, give me some grace!
If I loved thee, you'd be mine always
Most of us know though, you're prone to flight.
If you let me love freely, I'd know wrong from right;
If you loved me purely, I'd give nothing but praise.
But my passion has become anger that I use:
I wallow in my griefs, and have lost my faith.
Oh how I wish I loved thee with a love that I could lose.
With all the hopeless saints, who love with the breath,
I see no smiles, only tears, why would this they choose?
No, I shall not love thee, not even upon death.
I'm so glad that this isn't the type of love that God has toward us; and I hope that my human attempts at love come out a little better than this dire prose that I composed quite ruthlessly. But as I grow, I learn that I need LOVE more and more. The real kicker is that love is more difficult as I grow up.
My goal is to study God's love and transform my human tendencies of warped love to become pure like His. Join me in this quest, keep me accountable, and help me remain authentic.
I don't love love. If it were easy (is it for anyone? tell me your secret!), I am positive I would love it. But it's not, and so I don't.
I was thinking of the poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning titled "How Do I Love Thee?" and chewing over the words. Join me (and don't forget to read it aloud, just above a whisper, and with dramatic pauses...British accent is optional):
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
If only these words were true for flawed and destined-for-failure mortals like myself. I'm comforted by knowing and experiencing God's vast love for me; however, the complexities of love arise for this human when I try to extend that same love towards other people like me: very needy, often annoying, and discontent people.
In fact, if I were to rewrite this sonnet in my honest-to-goodness words of what SOME people think (not necessarily me in particular), it would go something like this:
You think I love thee? I can pretend for days.
I'll try to "love" thee until you're at least out of sight
Because my soul can't reach your expectation's height
For Pete's sake, give me some grace!
If I loved thee, you'd be mine always
Most of us know though, you're prone to flight.
If you let me love freely, I'd know wrong from right;
If you loved me purely, I'd give nothing but praise.
But my passion has become anger that I use:
I wallow in my griefs, and have lost my faith.
Oh how I wish I loved thee with a love that I could lose.
With all the hopeless saints, who love with the breath,
I see no smiles, only tears, why would this they choose?
No, I shall not love thee, not even upon death.
I'm so glad that this isn't the type of love that God has toward us; and I hope that my human attempts at love come out a little better than this dire prose that I composed quite ruthlessly. But as I grow, I learn that I need LOVE more and more. The real kicker is that love is more difficult as I grow up.
My goal is to study God's love and transform my human tendencies of warped love to become pure like His. Join me in this quest, keep me accountable, and help me remain authentic.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Glitter in the Air
This might be old news to some, and new news to others, but I just heard this song by P!NK for the first time. There is something simple and yet disquieting about the song. Both the feel of the music and the question behind the lyrics have me pondering the "glitter in the air" moments in life. The moments that define you, the moments you live for, and the moments you hope to have. The moments in which you are glad to be who you are.
Am I brave enough to face these moments, to seek them out? I hope that I let myself trust and prove my trustworthiness to others. I hope that I surrender to God and allow Him to orchestrate these moments for His purpose, and not my own. I pray that I learn to love more like God and become a beautiful song of my own for Him to delight in.
I want to know what you think. Here is a link to the video on YouTube from P!NK's performance on the Grammy's (don't worry, she's wearing a nude-colored costume, she's not naked) Glitter in the Air, and the lyrics are also below. Please leave comments with your thoughts.
Have you ever fed a lover
With just your hands
Close your eyes
And trusted, just trusted
Have you ever thrown
A fist full of glitter in the air
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just dont care
Its only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning
And the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way...
Have you ever hated yourself
For staring at the phone
Your whole life waiting on the ring
To prove youre not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently
You had to cry
Have you ever invited a stranger
To come inside
Its only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way...
There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, callin me sugar
You called me sugar
Have you ever wished for an endless night
Lassoed the moon and the stars
And pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath
And asked yourself
Will it ever get better
Than tonight, tonight...
Am I brave enough to face these moments, to seek them out? I hope that I let myself trust and prove my trustworthiness to others. I hope that I surrender to God and allow Him to orchestrate these moments for His purpose, and not my own. I pray that I learn to love more like God and become a beautiful song of my own for Him to delight in.
I want to know what you think. Here is a link to the video on YouTube from P!NK's performance on the Grammy's (don't worry, she's wearing a nude-colored costume, she's not naked) Glitter in the Air, and the lyrics are also below. Please leave comments with your thoughts.
With just your hands
Close your eyes
And trusted, just trusted
Have you ever thrown
A fist full of glitter in the air
Have you ever looked fear in the face
And said I just dont care
Its only half past the point of no return
The tip of the iceberg
The sun before the burn
The thunder before the lightning
And the breath before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way...
Have you ever hated yourself
For staring at the phone
Your whole life waiting on the ring
To prove youre not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently
You had to cry
Have you ever invited a stranger
To come inside
Its only half past the point of oblivion
The hourglass on the table
The walk before the run
The breath before the kiss
And the fear before the phrase
Have you ever felt this way...
There you are, sitting in the garden
Clutching my coffee, callin me sugar
You called me sugar
Have you ever wished for an endless night
Lassoed the moon and the stars
And pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath
And asked yourself
Will it ever get better
Than tonight, tonight...
Monday, June 21, 2010
Rusty bike
My blog has been sitting here, unused, for almost six months. It's driving me crazy. The knowledge that I'm "slacking" in an activity that--to me--is equivalent to a spiritual exercise is almost more than I can bear. It's like seeing an exercise bike in your home office collect dust, or knowing that you're paying money for a gym that wouldn't recognize you if you showed up. My spiritual arms are getting flabby from lack of conditioning and I think I've finally reached the point where I'm ready to work them into shape again.
So wish me luck, I'm going to be blogging again!
(And if I don't, you have my permission to harass me about it.)
So wish me luck, I'm going to be blogging again!
(And if I don't, you have my permission to harass me about it.)