Slow month? Not exactly!

Glancing at my blog for the month of August I feel like it was a slow month as far as the number of my posts. But in reality, it was far from a slow month! Spiritually, August had its ups and downs. But overall, I feel like the reason I blogged so little was because I was learning so much. I couldn't narrow down my thoughts to one comprehensible post!!

I've been thoroughly enjoying "The Hole in our Gospel" and wish I could copy and paste everything I read.

Honestly, I'm still trying to find out what this blog means to me and what I'm supposed to do with it. Sometimes I get insecure about it. It's "authentic," yes. But I'm now subscribed to 19 blogs and follow 98 people on Twitter, most of whom are excellent Christian writers, speakers, artists, and authors. Its intimidating because I sometimes envy the ease with which it seems other people can write and communicate so effectively what they want to.

Anyway, my own insecurities won't keep me from growing spiritually. :-) I just have the desire to develop my writing and see what happens. I may not become a published author but I want to do my best to tell others about the Good News I know that changes my life each day.

Borrowed: "A Golden Opportunity"

The following is from a blog I stumbled upon this week (have I mentioned how much I love Twitter and that resources it has given me?) that is incredibly profound, relevant, and well-written. The post can be found here http://bit.ly/VrQDV but I also pasted it below for you:

It all happened so quickly. I certainly didn't see it coming. I was knocked off my feet and hit the pavement, all in the matter of a few seconds. We walk our dogs just about every morning. It was a beautiful day. I had put our Golden Retriever, Precious, on her leash and we headed down toward the end of the driveway to wait for my husband, Steve, and Joe, our Chesepeake Bay Retriever. Joe came charging around the house. He ran at full speed to greet us. Unfortunately, he ran right into Precious' leash and I was catapulted onto the rough cement of the driveway. Thoroughly stunned, I slowly stood to my feet and grabbed my right elbow. Instinctively, I had broken the impact of the fall by putting my hands out in front of me. Even so, my right elbow had managed to take a pretty hard hit.

My husband was afraid I may have broken my elbow, which by now was swelling and bleeding from some minor abrasions. I stumbled into the house to get an ice pack from the freezer. Although it hurt, I was still able to move my arm; so with ice pack in hand, I told my husband to go ahead without me. I was surprised to hear the door open just a few minutes later. Steve told me that he had tried to walk the dogs, but that Precious would only walk a few feet before she'd stop, and turn around to look back toward the house. After trying to coax her forward a few times to no avail, he brought both dogs back home.

I imagine that's one reason they're called, 'man's best friend.' How sweet to think that my puppy was so concerned about me that she was no longer interested in taking a long-awaited walk. It certainly gave me food for thought. How often have I listened to the prayer request of a troubled friend, brought the petition before the Lord once, and then forgotten all about my friend's need? Am I really concerned about what burdens my friend? Or am I more focused on my needs? It's so much easier to rejoice with friends who are rejoicing, than to fulfill the second half of Romans 12:15, to "weep with them that weep." (KJV)

The Bible is replete with countless examples of Christ's prayer life. Since He was so often surrounded by people, He made it a practice to get away by Himself to spend time with His Father in prayer. Matthew 14:23 reveals, "And when he had sent the multitudes away, he went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening was come, he was there alone." (KJV) The book of Mark puts it this way, "And when he had sent them away, he departed into a mountain to pray." (Mark 6:46, KJV) He was so burdened for mankind, that the book of Luke says, "And it came to pass in those days, that he went out into a mountin to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God." (Luke 6:12, KJV) What a passion for people! What a model for us to follow. I'm reminded today of the power of prayer and the Almighty God who answers it. Will you be faithful to intercede on the behalf of others until God answers? Be sure to stop and praise Him when He does!

John 17:24-26, New International Version

"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

“Garden” by NeedToBreathe

Won’t you take this cup from me
‘Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you’ll save their souls with it

Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you

In this hour of doubt I see
But who I am is not just me
So give me strength to die myself
So love can live to tell the tale

Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you

Father let my heart be…
For you

Let the songs I sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words I say profess my love
Let the notes I choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you

Psalm 119:161-168, The Message

I've been slandered unmercifully by the politicians,

but my awe at your words keeps me stable.

I'm ecstatic over what you say,

like one who strikes it rich.

I hate lies—can't stand them!—

but I love what you have revealed.

Seven times each day I stop and shout praises

for the way you keep everything running right.

For those who love what you reveal, everything fits—

no stumbling around in the dark for them.

I wait expectantly for your salvation;

God, I do what you tell me.

My soul guards and keeps all your instructions—

oh, how much I love them!

I follow your directions, abide by your counsel;

my life's an open book before you.

School has started again for many friends of mine who are either students or teachers. I miss school on a regular basis. I like the semester/winter/semester/summer schedule and I've never gotten tired of learning new things. Now I know why people choose to continue their education through masters degrees, certifications, and doctorates. Sometimes I find a restlessness of sitting in the same place doing the same thing day after day with no end in sight to motivate me.

But, then again, I've always been a self-motivator and it's not like me to wait for something or someone else to put a fire under my feet so that I can get things done. I can do a lot when I put my mind to it. Granted, this "quality" about me can also be my fall. I struggle with pride and independence. Both can be used for good, but my struggle is when I become so self-reliant that I'm not receptive to God's voice or the counsel of my friends or family.

That's why these verses stuck out to me today. I want to relish the Words of God and sing His praises all day. I know first-hand that when I actively participate in the scriptures and love hearing the wisdom of the Lord in the pages of the bible, "everything fits" and makes sense. No more floundering around like a college student without a major, no more second-guessing, say goodbye to my shaky foundation of self-reliance -- God is my stability and I wait expectantly for His words.

True Love by Phil Wickham

Come close listen to the story
About a love more faithful than the morning
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt the Fathers Broken Heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died, the day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died,
The day that True Love died

Search your heart you know you can't deny it
Come on, lose your life just so you can find it
The Father gave His only Son just to save us

The Earth was shaking in the dark
All creation felt The Fathers broken heart
Tears were filling Heaven's Eyes
The day that True Love died,
The day that True Love died
When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died,
The day that True Love died

Now, Jesus is alive

Jesus is alive!
Jesus is alive!
Jesus is alive!
Jesus is alive!
Oh, He is alive -
He rose again!

When blood and water hit the ground
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down
We were free and made alive
The day that True Love died,
The day that True Love died

Come close listen to the story...

Jonah 2:8, NIV

Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.

Today I thoroughly enjoyed reading another two chapters in The Hole in our Gospel. Richard Sterns' thoughts on what God expects of us have been convicting and relevant. Too often I find that I am guilty, just like Jonah (in the above verse), of clinging desperately to my worthless "idols" and missing out on the grace that allows me to live freely and have things of immeasurable worth.

I'm still trying to discover and admit what my idols are - I'm very good at being unaware of my flaws.

My mind tries to tell me that clinging to these idols is security - it's safe. But if you look at the story of Jonah, you see he tried to convince himself of the same thing but only found safety in the times when he was obeying God. "God can't give you the blessings He has for you until you first put down the others things you are clutching your hands."

And no excuses about "I don't have the time or resources to adequately serve God," or "I'm not spiritual enough." 2 Corinthians 12:9 - ...for My power is made perfect in weakness...

God doesn't call the equipped -He equips the called.

Closing thoughts from the chapters I read today: "Mother Teresa once said, "I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world." She had it right. We're not authors, any of us. We are just the pencils. Once we understand that, we might actually become useful to God.

A "Regular"

Have you ever walked into a shop or restaurant where the owner and/or employees gave you such a nice and genuine welcome that you were glad you chose to go there?

Do people feel like that when they go to your church? What about your small group?

Psalm 94:18-19, NIV

When I said, "My foot is slipping,"
your love, O LORD, supported me.

When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought joy to my soul.

I allow anxiety to permeate my life in several ways last week. As evidence by my lack of blogging (and thus, lack of spending time with the Lord), I clearly didn't seek the correct way of handling my anxiousness. The consolation that scripture gives does bring joy to my soul and I know the truth that says "be anxious about nothing but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Yet, even with this head and heart knowledge, something stubborn (or forgetful?) inside my spirit still chooses to fret and worry before ever remembering to sit and pray about it first.

Like a habit that is impossible to break, my "self" still defaults to this way of handling stress. Can there ever be relief from this cycle? I am often convinced that it's all part of our human condition on earth and that it won't get better until we're no longer foreigners, until we get Home to heaven. At the same time, I can't make excuses. I can work at this and force my worldly and selfish habits to not be my initial response. This is impossible for me, but not for God, He can work it out in my life if He sees fit and I'm pretty sure He would encourage me to seek Him first.

So I'm going to work at it, pray about it, and start responded to stress by telling God about it and looking in the Word for the answers.

Saturday Mornings

It's a Saturday morning and I feel very blessed to be at home alone with buttermilk waffles, fresh strawberries, and coffee. On the rare and random mornings when I find myself home, I typically turn on the television and, if I'm lucky, I get to watch a re-run of I Love Lucy. If watching the mishaps of the Ricardos isn't an option, I waste my time watching infomercials for products like the Windshield Wonder. However, this morning I realized that I have a wonderful DVD collection of my favorite movies and yet I never take the time to sit down and watch them! Therefore, this morning's selection was a comedic fantasy that has been on my top 10 list for years - Big Fish.

"They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that's true. What they don't tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up."


This morning's realization (remembering to take the time to watch a favorite DVD again) got me thinking. Just like the DVDs I love and have collected, but rarely watch, how many things in my spiritual life are also collecting dust on a shelf - other "forgotten favorites?" Some of my favorite things to do with the Lord I don't schedule or prioritize. They're collecting dust of the shelf of my heart. Things like more consistent time in the word, creative worship, spiritual retreats, and full-time ministry. I'm not sure why I do this. These are the things that remind me of the Lord, His love, and excite me about sharing Him with others.

I'm inspired today to take the one to two hours to dust off a favorite "God time" hobby. A forgotten favorite can again be remembered again as we spend time with our timeless God.

The Son

"I believe in Christianity as I believe in the sun- not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else." - C.S. Lewis

I depend on its consistency
to get me through each day.
When its hidden by a cloud,
My spirit starts to feel gray.

A light that can't compare
its too magnificent to stare.
It exposing my inner weakness,
I fight my pride like a dare.

The SON is of whom I speak
the very Name makes me weak!
Do you know of the knowledge found in Him?
Do you know it's Him you need to seek?

Matthew 3:11-13, New International Version

Every day this week I've been looking forward to the daily post on John Piper's Desiring God blog. Today's was especially thought-provoking as it quoted one of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis, and spoke on a topic I struggle daily with - humility. Please click here to read.

One phrase in particular stood out to me. Describing the work of Jonathan Edwards, John Piper stated that Edwards was trying to discern "what was wheat and what was chaff in the emotions of the Great Awakening in New England." It made me think about my own life and emotions and how I sometimes build up chaff (leftovers of seeds left on the threshing floor; something comparatively worthless) instead of wheat (the harvested grain that has worth). I want to be the wheat! But, as a human, the chaff will always be gathering up in my life. My goal this week will be to recognize that when it happens and do my best to harvest more wheat than chaff.

"I baptize you with water for repentance. But after me will come one who is more powerful than I, whose sandals I am not fit to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor, gathering his wheat into the barn and burning up the chaff with unquenchable fire."

Twitter-related update

I thought it was interesting tonight to learn that another well-known Christian speaker who previously had "playfully slammed" Twitter joined today. Fun and sarcastic clip here:
Louie Giglio joins the ranks today on Twitter

'tis so Tweet to trust in Jesus?

My Dad brought up a good thought Wendesday night during my baby-boomer-crash-course-on-Twitter when he said something along the lines of “what do you think God wants us to do with social media?” I’m willing to guess that many Christians are forgetting to include God on this part of their lives. Personally, I only recently started pursuing how to use all the new mediums available out there effectively and for God’s glory.

And the result is that my eyes have been opened to the advantages of social media for spiritual growth. I am now subscribed to the blogs of John Piper, Donald Miller, and Josh Harris to receive their thoughts on relevant issues (and for some good clean entertainment). I also receive weekly prayer/news e-mail updates from TearFund, 24-7 Prayer, and World Vision. On my Facebook profile, I am a “fan” of several Christian musicians; BlueTree, Chris Tomlin, Shane & Shane, Jeff Johnson, and Jared Wood. The newest addition, Twitter, is providing me with real-time updates (both ministry-related and random) on Kiva, World Vision, Shane Claiborne, Derek Webb, Rob Bell, The Mentoring Project, Matt Chandler, and more.

So what can I do with this? Well, in just a week, I have found four new book referrals that I didn’t see before, I got to feel as though I was there for parts of The Leadership Summit 2009 (#tls09), I’ve learned about new organizations and, perhaps, potential opportunities for future support/involvement. In addition, I feel as though there is now one more way for me to speak the name of Christ and share what God is teaching me (authentically, of course) with the world.

Now, there can be some controversy to tweeting during a church service. For instance, here are the reactions I received on Facebook in four hours (some serious, some sarcastic):

Josh Harris blogged about it, then John Piper jumped onboard… did I mention TIME Magazine too? I’ve come to the conclusion that, yes, God can use anything for His glory – even Twitter. And yes, it might be a distraction if you see your neighbor send a quick tweet in the middle of a sermon, but isn’t our world already full of the distractions of car alarms, sound equipment squeaking, vibrating cell phones, crying children, and old men who sniff too loudly? Not long from now, Twitter will be “old news” and some other media source will be all the rage. So, not to be too harsh, I think we need to suck it up and take a nice splash of reality on the topic. This is how our country (and the world) is communicating now. Shouldn’t we join in and use it to speak of the Lord? I certainly hope that I will and that most of my tweets will focus on God and not mindless updates on indigestion, dirty diapers, or the scores of the game. :-)

“But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.” Philippians 1:18, NIV

1 Corinthians 10:13-14, The Message

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; He'll never let you be pushed past your limit; He'll always be there to help you come through it. So, my very dear friends, when you see people reducing God to something they can use or control, get out of their company as fast as you can.

Being weather dependent, farmers can't control hail or drought or flood, so they manage risk with insurance and listening to forecasts. Unfortunately, there are times when there is nothing a farmer can do but sit and wait out the storm, surrendering control the forces of nature. For instance, the hailstorm that tore through corn and soybean fields in Iowa on Sunday morning caused damage that is expected to be in the millions. The majority of farmers carry some form of hail or storm damage insurance, but a storm like the one Sunday means a year without profit and thus without extra capital for expansion or improvements. This is, ultimately, the definition of helplessness for a farmer.

I was praying for my relatives in Iowa today – their crops were destroyed in the storm – and began to think about this helplessness that must be inevitable during this time. I hope those Iowa farmers have more wits than I do because the devastation of losing everything I’d worked on (purchasing, planting, tending, etc) would cripple me.

What situations strip control from you and create panic? Is it financial stress or a reprimand at work? It be a car accident or family emergency that catches you off guard. Whatever the event or emotion, no one likes their control being taken away from them.

I think we do this with God. God is beyond our control and yet we insist on controlling even Him at times. We don’t pray big prayers because we want specific answers that don’t surprise us or because we underestimate what God is actually capable of. When God tries to move us out of our comfort zone, we deny the nudge and make excuses to keep things comfortable. Then, other times, we doubt that God is of any use and become self-reliant. When we become the people who “reduce God to something we can control” – we’re the very people that these verses say to avoid. I don’t know about you, but that’s not where I want the person I want to be.

We are blessed to have a God who is always with us, without fail. He doesn’t play the games with us that we attempt to play on Him, He doesn’t push us further than He’s willing to catch us and He doesn’t let us down. Do you know this God? He’s my God and my life exists because of Him.

John 14:13-14, The Message

"From now on, whatever you request along the lines of who I am and what I am doing, I'll do it. That's how the Father will be seen for who he is in the Son. I mean it. Whatever you request in this way, I'll do."

Pray for big things. Pray confidently for big things. Don't be brazen and selfishly "name it and claim it" -- remember the reason that we're alive is to glorify God (not necessarily get a raise, new car, bigger house, perfect body, good health, etc.). But also, don't be timid, doubtful, or afraid to ask for anything.

If we followup each request we make to God with "if it's Your will" then aren't we just giving Him a way out or a hall pass in case He doesn't answer it? More importantly, doesn't that phrase reveal a lack of faith in us? What's wrong with praying the big prayers?

I think a critical difference is between praying for something "if it's God's will" and then praying for something "in accordance with God's will." Let me clarify. I can timidly ask God to give me a boyfriend "if it's His will" and then, when I find myself still single the next day, I can console myself with the fact that it must just not be God's will for me to be with someone. On the flip side, I can boldly ask God to bring a man into my life because I believe that, in accordance with His will for me to serve Him all my days, He doesn't desire for me to be alone and has a partner in mind for me. And, if I wake up the next day and find that I'm still single, I pray again.



Maybe that wasn't the best example. But anyway - make a list today of things that you desire in order to serve God better. Ask Him for them. Boldly and with faith. Keep an open heart and attentive spirit to how God might answer that prayer.

Luke 15:20-24, New Living Translation

“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’

“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began."

"When God Ran" by Shaded Red:

Almighty God, the great I Am

Immovable Rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome lord

Victorious Warrior, commanding King of kings, mighty Conqueror

And the only time, the only time I ever saw Him run

Is when He ran to me, took me in His arms

Held my head to His chest, said "my son's come home again"

Looked at my face, wiped the tears from my eyes

With forgiveness in His voice He said "son, do you know I still love you"

It caught me by surprise, brought me to my knees

When God ran

The day I left home, I knew I had broken His heart

I wondered then if things could ever be the same

Then one night, I remembered His love for me

And down that dusty road ahead I could see

I saw Him run to me

It caught me by surprise

Brought me to my knees

When God ran

1 Peter 4:7-8, The Message

Everything in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything.

John Piper call prayer, “wartime communication”:
"Life is war. That's not all it is. But it is always that. Our weakness in prayer is owing largely to our neglect of this truth. Prayer is primarily a wartime walkie-talkie for the mission of the church as it advances against the powers of darkness and unbelief. It is not surprising that prayer malfunctions when we try to make it a domestic intercom to call upstairs for more comforts in the den. God has given us prayer as a wartime walkie-talkie so that we can call headquarters for everything we need as the kingdom of Christ advances in the world. . . Prayer is the communication with headquarters by which the weapons of warfare are deployed according to the will of God. That's the connection between the weapons and prayer in Ephesians 6. Prayer is for war."

Honestly, I have a hard time praying. I get distracted or I forget or I end up saying the same things. I enjoy the worship music on Sunday nights at church because I feel like it helps me pray as I sing the words. It helps me to focus for a few minutes and turn my thoughts to the Lord.

I think what is missing in my life is the realization of this urgency of prayer. If prayer is for war, I'm a pretty crummy soldier. I need to remember that prayer changes me and prayer is my active and effective weapon in an everyday battle. It's time to join in the ranks and pray for big things and praise my big God.

1 Peter 4:9-11, NIV

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

*The following was said so perfectly by one of the pastors at my church, Gary Bradenburg, that I couldn't do anything but copy and paste it from his sermon notes which can be found here.*

The important thing is that gifts are for giving. It is not so important that we catergorize the gift but that we use it to bless others. It doesn’t matter how small the gift it is important to the Giver. I learned this one night when God showed up at the East Texas Symphony. I love the symphony…for about ten minutes. My favorite part is the beginning. The tuning, the conductor appears, the stillness, the uplifted baton, the anticipation, and when that baton descends the heavens open. All of those instruments playing their parts creating one magnificent sound. But on this particular night I did not hear the Lord in the whirlwind of the woodwinds, I did not see the Lord in the rumbling earthquake of the kettle drums, I saw him standing there in the back with this…(triangle). What do you call this person? The triangulator? The percussive triangulist? The man was focused on the score in front of him. While the violins were bowing and the oboes were blowing he simply waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, at just the right time he went…DING. I almost came out of my chair and shouted, “You’re the man!”

God doesn’t ask us to save the world. God doesn’t expect us to do it all. He just asks us to play our part, to just ding. Everything God created has a purpose. And every creation of God is equipped for that purpose. God wouldn’t put fish in the sea without gills or birds in the sky without wings. God wouldn’t put you where you are to reflect who He is without giving you the equipment to do it. You may not be 1st chair but you have a part, and when you play your part I’m sure the One who died for you wants to come up out of His chair and say, “You’re the man/woman.”

Busy is not always a bad disease!

Sometimes I have so many ideas and dreams running through my head at once that I can't decipher which are merely passing thoughts, actually from the Lord, or just indigestion - hah! What I do know is that I have a terminal disease of being busy, but I don't want to be healed. I love being busy! Granted, I can get to the verge of breakdown and take a day or two for recuperation. But overall, I wish there were more hours in the day for me to do everything my mind comes up with!

Here is a glimpse of my mind and crazy train of thought today (keep in mind I'm trying to work during all of this): "I'm feeling a little bittersweet about the upcoming split of my weekly womens small group. But we survived and thrived after the split last year. I have to admit, it's going to be awesome to have three new groups come from one, God will do great things through the new leaders that are stepping up. And with so many women looking for Christian fellowship in Dallas, we need the room to grow! Speaking of growing- I've officially been back in America for two years! Have I grown during that time? It's crazy to think of all that happened in that one year in Belfast. Oh, Belfast. I wish I could go back. Maybe God wants me to work there again. Or maybe when I go to India I'll find an opportunity to get back into full time ministry. Then again, what is "full time ministry?" Aren't I doing that already? Certainly feels like it sometimes. But I miss the availability of being able to bless others by taking them out to lunch or breakfast or coffee during their day without the concern of my job getting in the way. Like the Leadership Summit 2009, I'd love to be there. Heck, I'd love to plan an event like this to equip and encourage church leaders. Oh, speaking of things to plan, I want to do a mission trip or project soon with girls from church. Maybe plan an inner city prayer tour of Dallas or serve dinner at the Union Gospel Mission. Or perhaps it'd be beneficial to sponsor a child together through World Vision. I like reading the book written by the World Vision president, it's so convicting and I agree with so much of his thoughts and perspectives...maybe I should write a book... I want to start a book club... but I also like movies, I should make a movie..."

Ahh! See, it's a crazy train in my head! And I only had one cup of coffee today!

* Relax * Remember, God speaks in a whisper and uses tiny seeds to move mountains. I found peace in these words from Psalm 116:7-8 (The Message) today:

I said to myself, "Relax and rest.

God has showered you with blessings.

Soul, you've been rescued from death;

Eye, you've been rescued from tears;

And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling."

Luke 15:8-10, The Message

"Or imagine a woman who has ten coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and scour the house, looking in every nook and cranny until she finds it? And when she finds it you can be sure she'll call her friends and neighbors: 'Celebrate with me! I found my lost coin!' Count on it—that's the kind of party God's angels throw every time one lost soul turns to God."

Isn't it phenomenal that we have a God who seeks us even more diligently than this woman searching for her coin?

You won't relent
Until You have it all
My heart is Yours

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love

Come be the fire inside of me
Come be the flame upon my heart
Come be the fire inside of me

Life's Noise

I drove to work this morning with no radio or music on (I usually listen to the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning show) or cell phone use (sometimes I talk to Mom for the whole drive). I had seen two of my friends' tweets yesterday on Twitter about how they had driven with no radio or music and enjoyed the silence. Hah - "silence?" Yeah that wasn't my experience.

You see, without my radio turned up loud I was far more aware of the cars honking, people yelling on the street, and construction noise. Honestly, for the entire 28 minute drive it all grated on my nerves like a dripping sink. It was maddening! Why do people say that silence is golden?

I felt like it was a lose-lose situation. My radio normally prevents me from experiencing silence, but when I try, true silence can't be obtained. This is our dilemma - we expect silence to mean that there will be no noise, we want the extreme with no distractions. Don't we expect the same from God? We want to see God. We want to hear Him. But God doesn't always show up the way we expect.

Read this story and then rethink about what you ask and expect of God. Are you looking for Him in the right places? Are we looking for silence in the right places?

1 Kings 19:11-13:

The LORD said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by." Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

He wasn't in the fire

He wasn't in the quake

He wasn't in the wind

He's in a whisper

Ecclesiates 3:8, New International Version

A time to love and a time to hate.A time for war and a time for peace.

War or Peace? Having lived 90% of my life in Texas, where friendly people tote around guns and wave confederate flags (don’t take offense, that was sarcasm), I've naturally adapted to a local viewpoint on guns and war. This "local viewpoint" is simply that guns are okay to have, just be careful, and the United States being in war is patriotic and something to be proud about. *Remember, this is just my perspective, I feel like it might ruffle a few feathers so I want to clarify that it's not a blanket statement of what all Texans believe.*

In my travels to other states and countries I've been surprised by how many times I've been questioned on my views of guns, war, and the death penalty once people discovered that I was from Texas. I never felt like I had an answer completely my own, it also seemed like I repeated things I'd heard from someone else. When I recently read The Irresistible Revolution, I was challenged to finally affirm my thoughts and beliefs on these topics.

Because I claim Christ as my God, I declare that I believe the Bible to be Truth, God's infallible word. The stories and history of our world that are recorded in the Bible are full of war, murder, bloodshed, and death. No matter what you believe, we can't escape the fate given to all humans - pain and death. But in the midst of living out our time on earth - should I participate in active pursuits of death and pain? I don't think I should.

The argument I have isn't solid, it is in progress. Sometimes I feel like verses I pick and choose can contradict each other if I don't properly research the context and history. For me personally, I choose to look at "Do not murder" from Exodus 20:13 and especially Matthew 5:38-48 where Jesus commands us to "turn the other cheek" and "love your enemies." Ultimately, my decision on the matters of war, guns, and the death penalty is that, as a Christian (which trumps my citizenship), I am called to Love. Love God, Love others. I can't own a weapon that causes harm. I can't support the government deciding what crimes warrant death and using power to take life away. I want to take steps to see war cease and more "battles" be fought through discussion and documents - not by sending citizens to kill other citizens.

Maybe I'm being naive. You can argue that God is a "warrior" and so we should be too. In fact, the bible states in Exodus 15:3 "The LORD is a man of war: the LORD is his name." But what about Romans 15:33 that says "Now the God of peace be with you all."?

Let's ask a simple question -- is it not reasonable to say that God can be both a "warrior" and a God of peace, as the circumstances require? In that same way, I might find that in some time in my life, or any one else's life, there will be a need to be a soldier during war, and a Customer Relations Writer during times of peace.

All in all, what I'm trying to communicate is that I think this is an ongoing struggle and development of my beliefs. I trust that while I might go back and forth between sides of this argument, I take comfort that God is allowed to react to what we do as He sees fit and He is never contradicted -- those verses describe Him as being of war and peace but not at the same time or while performing the same action.

Ecclesiastes 3:17 “I thought in my heart, "God will bring to judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time for every deed.”